


Slow Dancing in Cicely

by butterflycollective



Category: Matt Houston (TV), Northern Exposure
Genre: Developing Friendships, Multi, Mystery, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27554710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflycollective/pseuds/butterflycollective
Summary: After Matt is blown up by a car bomb, CJ moves away to Cicely to rebuild her life amid a cast of eccentric characters trying their best to get in her way
Relationships: Joel Fleischman/Maggie O'Connell, Matt Houston/CJ Parsons
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writing the characters of both shows for fun

**Los Angeles, California**

She approached the grave from behind a grove of trees, after the ground keeper at the cemetery had cleared away the vestiges of ornaments sprinkled on various sites over the holiday. Dressed in black, she carried her flowers with her to the spot where a grave had been dug several weeks before. Few people milled around the cemetery this morning unlike that day when hundreds of people had witnessed the burial. Today, a couple with a small child sat near a grave marker laying fresh carnations and a toy truck in front of it. Another woman held a handkerchief tight in her hand, standing a distance away in front of another grave.

She took a deep breath watching the people around her looking for someone who didn't belong as she neared his grave. The grave stone had just been added several days before and she knelt before it on the grass, touching it with her fingers. He had been young when he had died, far too young when his life had been taken right in front of her. Much too quickly for any final words to be said between them. But what would you say in the final seconds of someone's life even if you saw it coming? How do you end a lifelong relationship in a few words? She hadn't been able to figure it out then and she couldn't now. She just knew she missed him too much for someone who wasn't coming back.

She lay the flowers down in front of his headstone and sat beside it for a while, trying to find the right words now to say goodbye. After she left the cemetery, she would be leaving L.A. now a city of bad memories to start a new life far away somewhere where people didn't know her or the man she had lost. She had submitted her resignation from her job and had said all her goodbyes this morning. This would be the final one before she moved on without looking back.

She had spent hours at the library searching for small towns off the beaten path to serve as her next home, careful not to do her investigation on any computers that could be traced by anyone else. A week ago, she had chosen the perfect town that a woman with a secret could hide in and build a new life for herself. Thousands of miles and a whole world away, it was a place where no one would come looking even as they might search everywhere else for any sign of her.

Reaching into her coat pocket, she pulled out a folded envelope and placed it next to the flowers. Inside were papers stained by her tears when she had folded them after writing forever it seemed.

C.J. fingered the head stone again and felt tears burn the corners of her eyes. She kissed her fingers and then touched it again.

"Goodbye, Houston."

**A month later… Cicely, Alaska**

Business boomed at the Brick as it usually did early in the mornings, as the town of Cicely woke up to face a new day. Shelli the waitress who was wearing an apron over her baby bump buzzed around tables carrying trays of food to the customers who settled for drinking coffee and trading anecdotes about their lives while they waited.

"Sorry for the wait," she said breathlessly as she handed some men dressed in hunting gear some omelets and fried potatoes, "The grill had to be cleaned last night after the party."

No further explanation was really necessary, she knew. Everyone in town had been there, well almost everyone she thought looking again at the young woman sitting by herself at a table in the corner. No one knew much about her or even when she had first arrived in Cicely, they just knew they liked her. Much of the town had just looked at Bricks one morning and saw her there among the regulars and a handful of tourists. At first, she had kept to herself except there were rumors that she had signed an open ended lease for one of Maggie's spare cabins and that she had visited Joel Fleishman the town's transplanted doctor not long after she arrived. No one in Cicely would dare even think of breaching the doctor-client confidentiality which they viewed to be almost sacred. Everyone at Cicely's equivalent of a water cooler just hoped she was feeling okay. Even when she started mingling among them, there was so much they didn't know and they didn't press her to tell them. They just waited patiently especially during times like this morning.

"She's always sitting there," a voice said, "looking as sad as the day before."

Shelli looked up.

"Ed, what are you doing here," she said, "I thought you were shooting a movie on the history of Cicely."

Ed grabbed a milk that one of the cooks gave him.

"She wanted a job," he said, simply.

Shelli's brow furrowed and she swept back her hair.

"Who wanted a job?"

"The woman sitting over there," he said, "She's going to help me gather our town's history. She's been busy for a while already but she doesn't talk much."

Shelli scratched her head.

"Now how can she do that," she asked, "She's not even from here."

Ed looked back at where she sat, nibbling at her eggs.

"She's very sad," he repeated, "but she used to work as a lawyer and did a lot of investigating where she's from."

"Did she say where that is?"

He shook his head.

"It must have been a big city," he said, "She must have lost someone there. Someone she loved and who maybe loved her back."

Shelli studied her.

"Yeah, she does look like that," she said, "It's not the hangdog look you so often see when women drop by here. It's a, I don't know, forlorn look like she's survived some unbearable tragedy like in one of those Harlequin…novels."

Ed nodded.

"Like Kate Winslett at the end of the Titanic," he said, "after she's been rescued and she's thinking back to her lost love."

"But Leo DiCaprio drowned in the freezing water after saving Kate's life," Shelli said, "He saved her life in more ways than one in that flick."

Ed looked at Shelli thinking that was an astute observation coming from someone whose taste ran in telenovelas and those new reality shows which had bombarded even the air waves of Alaska in the past several years.

"Maybe it's an example of real life imitating art right here in Cicely," he said.

Shelli couldn't disagree. After all, it wouldn't be the first time...


	2. Chapter 2

C.J. tried to focus on eating her breakfast but didn't have much of an appetite. She knew that would have to change, after all that's what the town doctor had told her during her appointment after she had arrived.

He had paced in front of her as she sat on the examination table wearing one of those silly gowns and read her a laundry list of the foods she needed to eat. She knew she had lost some pounds but it had been a difficult couple of months.

"And plenty of fruits and vegetables, not that they're easy to find in these parts so I'm prescribing you some vitamins."

"That will be fine," she said.

He looked at her.

"You're coming here just to visit right," he said, "I mean no one in their right mind from the continental United States i.e. civilization would move to this God-forsaken wilderness."

She glanced at him startled by his passionate dislike for the place where he practiced medicine.

"Actually I'm thinking about staying for a while," she said, "It's beautiful here."

"The spring's not too bad except they have this crazy ritual where the men strip down naked, yes I mean naked, and run through the ice and snow."

Her brow rose.

"That must be a sight," she said, "Something to look forward to I guess after a long cold winter."

Still, for someone who had spent almost every morning the past couple of months trying to keep her breakfast down and who had been too filled with anxiety the rest of the time to eat, she felt she held her own. She hoped the vomiting would soon be a memory as the doctor had assured her would be the case and things would go smoother as she adjusted to her new life. He had been friendly and certainly professional enough and his receptionist, a Native American woman named Marilyn hadn't said much, just smiled at her when she walked in the office.

He had reassured her that nausea was normal as was her pregnancy and she had to keep from telling him that nothing in her life resembled normality. She had been in Cicely several weeks at that point and had gotten use to the quiet tranquility of rural living and even the bitter cold that mercifully would soon give way to the upcoming spring. Sure, seeing a moose walk down the main strip in town had jarred her a little but she knew that the more inhospitable the town appeared, the less likely that it would be on anyone's list to search. And the town's people hadn't been anything but hospitable. Maintaining a polite demeanor while allowing her to keep her distance until she was ready to get to know them and allow them to get to know her.

Ruth-Anne, for example, who ran the town's general store in the middle of town. C.J. had stopped by there to pick up some vitamins that the doctor had prescribed. Ruth-Anne hadn't asked any questions just smiled at her as she rang up her purchase.

"This town is very nice," she had said.

The older woman's face crinkled into a smile.

"We're like a lot of small towns in Alaska in some ways," she said, "And very different in others."

C.J. had digested that and had picked up her grocery bag.

"If you like, we have a Scrabble night," Ruth-Anne said, "We take turns hosting. Just something to do to keep us from going stir crazy during these cold winters."

C.J. nodded.

"I like Scrabble," she said, "Houston and I…"

She had started to tell Ruth-Anne something about herself and him then she stopped and just began to walk away.

Ruth-Anne had watched her go and when she ran into Shelli later that day getting her nails done at the beauty parlor, she had mentioned that the new woman had dropped by her store to pick up some prenatal vitamins.

"I didn't see a wedding ring," Shelli said, "I didn't see any ring at all."

"I'm sure it's a very tragic story," Ruth-Anne said, shaking her head, "A woman all alone having a baby in a strange town…"

Shelli frowned.

"We're not so strange Ruth-Anne."

"I mean a town where she doesn't know anyone," Ruth-Anne continued, "And no man in sight."

Shelli didn't look fazed.

"Well that can be fixed," she said, "There's plenty of men in Alaska and I'm sure most of them won't mind if she's pregnant with someone else's child."

"Shelli, we don't know that she is looking for a father," Ruth-Anne scolded, "or a boyfriend for that matter."

Shelli had just shrugged adding that when you're pregnant, it was only natural to not want to spend it alone.

"Not to mention what it does to your mind," she said, shaking her head, "These days when I see Hollings in his long-johns, I just want to…"

Ruth raised her hand.

"Enough," she said, "Or you'll have me reminiscing."

C.J. had gone to several of the Scrabble nights and had enjoyed herself thoroughly once she let her guard down. Being a Harvard trained lawyer, most word games came naturally to her and she won a lion share of them. But more importantly, she got to know most of the town's women including Shelli who aced Scrabble having had much practice playing a naughtier version with Hollings on long nights in the darkness of the winter months.

Ruth-Anne brought over the most intricately designed and tasty snacks to the gatherings and each woman contributed a dessert dish or a beverage. In deference to both C.J. and Shelli, sparkling apple cider or grape juice was always included with the alcohol-laced cider.

"I could get drunk on this stuff," Shelli said, leaning back and patting her growing belly after one particular long Scrabble tournament had wound down with the women relaxing away the remaining hours of the evening by talking about anything that came to mind. C.J. mostly listened, fascinated at the lives of the women which unfolded before her in vivid detail. She exercised caution over revealing information about her own past and the women never prodded her. They somehow knew she would share parts of her background with them when she was ready.

It was nice to forget about her past at least for a little while.

"So you used to be a lawyer," Maurice asked her as she sat in his impressive and stylishly decorated house. Obviously, he held an important position as a power broker in an unpretentious small town. She had already discovered that most of the town's inhabitants had varying degrees of a love/hate relationship with the man who pumped a lot of the money into jump starting the town's economy.

She sipped her water, having nixed his invitation to join him in drinking Scotch. Her morning had led to an uneventful afternoon, the type where if she could string enough of them in a row, she might start breathing easier even as her heart kept aching.

She looked up at him.

"Yes I was," she said, "Mostly corporate litigation but some criminal law."

Maurice laughed.

"We don't have much of a need for either in Cicely young lady," he said, "Are you employed right now?"

She lifted her chin.

"I'm working as a research assistant for Ed on his film."

Maurice leaned back in his chair.

"Ah yes, the one he's doing as part of our new advertising campaign for the tourist crowd," he said. "Even with the grant from my foundation, he won't be able to pay you very much."

C.J. felt confused as this wasn't how Ed explained his cinematic vision to her during the short interview he conducted in his workshop behind his mother's house.

"He seemed to be a very nice man," she said, "I look forward to helping him on his film."

"I could find you some work to do," Maurice said, sipping his Scotch thoughtfully, "But I saw you leaving the doctor's office the other day and I hope everything's all right."

She sighed, reaching for what looked like pretzels.

"Not that it's any of your business but I was getting a checkup," she said, "Although I had planned to tell you in the interest of disclosure that I am pregnant."

Maurice rubbed his chin and his eyes fell where he believed the wedding ring should be. She saw his mind working with that information.

"I'm not married in case you're wondering," she said, "is that a problem for you because it shouldn't be. Discriminating against women who are pregnant is illegal so I would advise you…"

She thought she might have offended him but he laughed instead.

"My you're sure a headstrong filly…"

"Excuse me," she said, feeling irritation flow through her.

"I like that in a woman," he said, his glance making it clear that wasn't all he liked, "I think I can find you some work but it might take you a few days."

She nodded.

"That will be fine," she said, "You can reach me here."

She handed him her contact information.

He scratched his jaw.

"You're staying in one of Maggie's cabins," he said, "If you're ever free one night and want a meal cooked by someone good enough to be a gourmet chef…"

"You cook?"

He nodded, proudly.

"It's among my many talents," he said, "I'm the second best chef in these parts and the best one…well he's a little bit crazy."

She looked at him warily.

"I'll…think about it," she said, getting up, "Thank you for taking the time to talk to me."

C.J. lay back on her bed, pulling the wool comforter over her as she read through the preliminary script for Ed's film. She looked around the simply furnished cabin, which had very few of her personal touches to it. She would have to remedy that since she planned to be staying in Cicely for a while. She couldn't say how long, let alone forever, because so much could change in a moment's notice. A blink of your eye and it could all disappear. She had learned that when she had seen Matt climb inside a blazer before it burst into flame. The blast had blown so much heat in her face that it took several minutes before she could look back to see a ball of flame replace what had once been a car. And just like that, he was gone.

She shook her head to clear that vision away. Remembering that tragic incident that had ripped her life in pieces wouldn't serve any purpose. She needed to look forward now and start her new life.

Someone knocking on the front door interrupted her thoughts. She opened the door and saw Maggie standing on her porch with a basket. She let her inside.

"I brought you some venison that Hollings brought in last weekend," Maggie said, "Thought you might like it."

C.J. did, having eaten more than her share of it while growing up on a ranch in Texas.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the basket.

Maggie looked around the cabin.

"This is my favorite one," she said, softly. "Especially since my mother burned down what used to be my favorite one."

C.J. looked puzzled and Maggie smiled.

"Oh it was an accident…or so she said," she continued, "We have a rather tumultuous mother/daughter relationship."

"I see," C.J. said, studying the woman's animated face and her dark hair cut like a pixie.

She knew that Maggie was a licensed pilot with her own plane who flew people including hunters, tourists and the U.S. mail to and from Cicely to just about any destination and back. She had heard rumors that Maggie had a bad run of luck with men and hints that some of them met untimely ends. Something both women might have in common, C.J. thought. She noticed that Maggie didn't wear her pain on her face if she were feeling any but looked relatively happy.

"Well I better be going," Maggie said, "I have an early flight tomorrow. I'm picking up a man from Anchorage. He just flew in today."

"Tourist," C.J. asked more casually than she felt.

"Property developer according to him," Maggie said, "Land speculator if you ask me. Maurice will have a field day with him."

With that, Maggie had left the cabin and C.J. had gone back to bed, pulling up the blankets around her. Watching the shadows dance on the wall, she found herself missing him. That last night they had spent together, wrapped in each other arms after hours spent discovering each other, before he had left her forever. She revisited that place many times including in her dreams, imagining all the different ways it could have ended without taking him with it. Tonight was no different as she curled up in her bed, her tears drying on her face by the time she fell asleep.

Shelli kicked off the covers and reached for the light.

"What's the matter Shelli," Hollings said still half asleep on his side of the bed.

"I can't sleep."

"Why not," he said, as she snapped on the light.

"I can't stop thinking of that poor woman, the one who just moved here."

He looked at her sternly.

"Shelli have you been prying," he asked.

She shook her head.

"I've been playing Scrabble, not the same version we play but she's been to the last few games."

"I didn't know that," he said, sitting up.

"She's a cracker jack player," Shelli said, "Wins almost every time then looks like she wants to apologize."

"She probably doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings."

Shelli sighed.

"I just was thinking what would I do if I were pregnant with little Hollings, jr and there were no Hollings?"

He paused.

"Now that's a depressing thought," he said, "Now Shelli, you know I'll be there for both of you."

She smiled at him in a way that never failed to warm his heart.

"I know that Hollings, but she has no one," she said, "She's going to have a baby all by herself."

"Women do it all the time Shelli."

"Maybe," she said, "But it has to be lonely. I wonder what happened to him."

"Who?"

"Her baby's father of course," Shelli said, impatiently, "I bet it's something really sad."

"It's not anyone's business unless she wants it to be," he reminded her.

"Maybe she's just waiting for someone to ask," Shelli said.

Hollings sighed, knowing that Shelli had a good heart and always wanted to help people and make them feel better but sometimes people just wanted to be left alone. He had felt that way enough times himself and the wilderness had become his refuge. Maybe this woman felt that way too.

"Maybe she's just hoping for some peace," he said, "so that she can do her own thinking."

Shelli thought about that and then shook her head.

"I think I'm going to throw a party and invite her," she said, "Not a huge party or anything, just a small get-together for the girls."

Hollings watched her brain working at 2 a.m. and it scared him. Her eyes lit up.

"I know," she said, "It will be like a day at the spa. We can do facials and manicures and make those what do you call them, smoothies."

Hollings groaned.

"Maybe she doesn't want all this fuss."

Shelli looked at her beloved like he was crazy. "

"I think a spa day would be awesome," she said, "I'll start planning it in the morning."

Hollings smiled, despite himself. Once Shelli got it in her mind to do something, she was an unstoppable force of nature, kind of like a tornado. Stopping either was futile. All anyone could do was to just sit back and watch until they ran out of steam and life settled down again.


	3. Chapter 3

The alarm clock jolted C.J. out of her sleep. She usually didn't need one but the mornings were so dark in Alaska this time of year that it might be too late for work by the time she woke up. The dreams hadn't returned and she actually woke up feeling rested as she lay back waiting for her stomach to settle down.

She didn't have much time to get ready and grab a bite to eat before heading off to do research in different corners of Cicely for Ed's film. She wondered if he knew that Maurice's plans for his final product differed from his own vision and then figured that as far as the young filmmaker was concerned, it probably wouldn't matter much.

Finally getting out of bed, she went to the kitchen to make some tea and grab some breakfast. She liked working with Ed and she looked forward to any work that would get her mind off of her own life for a while. She had spent the past several weeks working with Ed as they went to interview different residents of the town especially the old-timers who had spent their entire lives never having gone down to the Lower 48. The residents that she had spoken to had been very friendly, inviting her into their homes and had opened up talking about the town's colorful history, most notably the oft-circulated tale about Rosalyn and Cicely, the town's founders. She never tired of hearing the various versions of that story that floated throughout the town.

In between, she and Ed spent time drinking hot tea and talking about what they hoped to see from the film when it was finally completed. He never pressed her for details of her life and she found him a soft-spoken yet well mannered young man.

They drove in a truck in a small road from the house of an old woman who had regaled them both with stories of the years she had spent traveling in a carnival throughout Alaska until she had married the sword swallower and settled down to raise a family of acrobatic men who were all working on oil rigs around the country. She had also whispered about Cicely's legendary "Big Foot".

She furrowed her brow.

"What's this about "Big Foot," she said, "Is that this area's version of the sasquatch legend?"

Ed shook his head.

"No, just Adam."

"Who's Adam?"

Ed narrowly dodged a dog running loose on the road.

"A man who married Eve."

Now she felt really confused.

"Not the Adam in the Bible, but the one who's Big Foot in these parts."

Ed nodded.

"He married Eve too, just like in the Bible," he said, "Except he's taller and hairier and a world-famous chef."

"Not the best chef in Cicely," C.J. said.

Ed looked surprised.

"You heard about him?"

She shrugged.

"Not really," she said, "Maurice just said he was a great gourmet cook himself but only the second best in Cicely."

Ed nodded again.

"He's right," he said, "Adam's the best chef in Alaska."

"I'd like to interview him," C.J. said.

"He might not like that," Ed said, "but then he might. It depends on his mood."

"I see," she said, or so she thought as they continued driving back to town.

Maggie taxied her plane and readied for takeoff to Anchorage, the closest thing that Alaska had to an urban center. Not that she minded, because she loved the rugged nature of living a state where the sun shone at midnight and the aureoles borealis lit the sky during certain times of the year. The tourist trade kept her well-fed and as for the adage that Alaska had the largest population of eligible men, well that had done wonders for her social life. She bristled inwardly just as she did anytime anyone approached her with observations, questions or God forbid, advice about her history with men since she had moved to Alaska.

She had loved each and every one of them up to the moments of their untimely deaths. Whether it was freezing on a glacier or getting struck down in their prime by a wayward satellite, all of Maggie's men had brought much joy to her life. The fact that they had all died not long before hooking up with her didn't make her the human version of the Black Widow spider. After all, she didn't kill them. Nature and the dangerous and seductive lifestyle that Alaska offered to the world's alpha men had killed them. She was as innocent a victim as they had been and she had been the one left alive to mourn them and to add an effigy of what they had represented to the shrine she had kept on the mantle of her old cabin until her mother had of course burned it down to the ground.

The plane took off effortlessly, leaving the ground rushing underneath it and the endless possibilities of the pale blue sky above. The clouds had burned off this morning and the town of Cicely had been treated to a sunny if chilly day, which by its end might provide them with a taste of the spring to come.

She was heading off to Anchorage to pick up one fare. Another land developer traveling to Cicely to probably meet and kick back with Maurice over some choice cigars and a couple bottles of Scotch to discuss the town's future as a Mecca to tourists. Every time she thought about that, it nearly made her sick. What if Maurice's vision of strip malls and gaudy entertainment venues became a reality some day? She shook that thought out of her mind and replacing it was something even more annoying.

Joel Fleishman.

Kissing him in the barn during the ice melting period that had driven the entire town crazy had been the worst mistake she had ever made. Even worse than taking Billy Preston to the spring formal in the 10th grade back in Gross point, Michigan where she had grown up as a very different and hopefully deceased Maggie O'Connell. Okay, Joel was a cutie especially when he smiled at her in a way that nearly made her melt even in the near Arctic snow. And he was actually fun to be around when not whining about being a medical school graduate forcefully seized to live out the next few years as an indentured servant of the State of Alaska. Still, he annoyed her at least 20 hours out of every single day and their constant arguments had become legendary. She started nodding her head at that thought then the heat blazed through her. Damn, he could kiss, she sighed and weaken a girl's knees along with her will to stay away. But even if she did put aside all his flaws and the very good reasons they shouldn't get together, if they did hook up, he would just end up dying and she'd have to add some remnant of him to the new shrine she had started for her deceased trail of lovers after the fire.

She looked ahead, thinking that it would surely be a gorgeous day.

C.J. sat at the Brick eating lunch. Shelli had buzzed by in between deliveries to breathlessly invite her to some sort of spa night with the girls. She assumed it was the same crowd that she saw on Scrabble night. She smiled at the younger girl and told her she would think about it. It sounded like it might be fun and she needed to get out once in a while.

She sipped her soup, not sure what was hiding beneath the creamy broth but it sure tasted good. The room was packed with the lunch crowd, including fur trappers, loggers and a tourist here or there. Joel had stopped by and said that he was glad to see her eating more before he began his latest diatribe about life out in the tundra. She watched him and decided that she would give anything to have his problem. She'd live anywhere on the planet if she could just bring him back. It had taken them far too long to find each other even though they had known each other most of their lives. They had been best friends but hadn't crossed the line to become something more and when that finally happened, it had been during a moment of duress. If he hadn't been killed in an explosion, she wondered what would have happened to the two of them. It became obvious about six weeks or so and a couple of pink sticks later what her future held, only by then he had been gone.

How would he have reacted to the news? She thought he would have been happy whether or not they had gotten together. He had always wanted children and they would have worked something out if they had decided to remain just friends. Now of course that chance was gone forever and she was left alone to raise their child in a world that had gotten more dangerous when it became clear that those responsible for taking him from her still viewed her as a threat. And she still hadn't learned why he had been killed and why his killers had come looking for her.

She shivered as she remembered her escaping their grasp and hoped she had run far enough away from them. But knowing that any minute they could show up wherever she went. Still, the quiet tranquility of Cicely had bit her like a bug and she found herself beginning to settle into her new life. At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

The first thing Maggie noticed was the pair of cowboy boots on the feet of the handsomest legs she had seen on a gorgeous man in a good while. She sucked in her breath as she reached out her hand to shake his.

"I'm Maggie O'Connell," she said, smiling, "I'm your pilot."

If he found her as attractive as she found him, he sure didn't show it. His grip was strong, his palm warm and appropriately callused which meant that even as a hated developer, he had some sort of intimate relationship with hard work and building something from the ground up. She could almost forgive him for everything else.

His brown eyes crinkled when he smiled.

"I'm…"

"Joshua Walton," Maggie finished, "at least that's what is on the passenger manifest."

He nodded.

"My friends just call me Josh," he said, easily.

"The name suits you," she said, taking in the casual jeans and long sleeved shirt that he wore beneath his coat, "You're going to be in Cicely long?"

He paused.

"Just until I get my work done," he said, "It depends on how well things go."

She made a face.

"Just watch out for Maurice," she warned, "He'll try to sell you some worthless sand pits."

"Huh?"

Maggie shrugged.

"You are coming to Cicely to buy up some land," she said.

He brightened.

"Oh yeah," he said, "I've got a blank checkbook from the boss."

Well, there went the neighborhood, she thought. She looked at his baggage.

"Are those your things?"

He nodded.

"I always travel light," he said, "I do a lot of traveling."

He didn't wear a wedding ring, not that it meant anything.

"Your family doesn't mind?"

His face darkened a little bit.

"I'm on my own now."

Maggie nodded and then she frowned.

"What's the matter," he asked.

She sighed.

"I hate to tell you this but we're grounded until tomorrow."

He looked confused.

"But it's a beautiful day."

She grimaced.

"I popped a part on the engine," she said, "but I'll get you out of here bright and early tomorrow."

He thought about it.

"I'm in kind of a hurry," he said, "Are you sure there's no other transportation?"

She looked at him, a bit crestfallen at the concern on his face and feeling like she let him down.

"There's a guy with some sled dogs," she said, "but it might take a while to get to Cicely."

He ran his hand through his hair.

"I think tomorrow morning will be just fine," he said, "Is there any recommendations you have for a place to hang my hat in the meantime?"

"There's a pretty good hotel with an excellent piano bar," Maggie said, "I used to play myself but Chris, you know he just had to break his artistic slump by turning it into a work of art by catapulting it in the air."

"What?"

Maggie shrugged.

"It was either that or a cow."

Josh glanced at her sideways.

"Dead or alive?"

She shook her head at him.

"Mr. Wal…Josh you're definitely going to love Cicely."

C.J. had put in some full days working with Ed and had mulled several other job offers including one just offered by Maurice to work as his assistant. She didn't take that one seriously, knowing he just wanted her for personal reasons, her pregnancy notwithstanding. Chris the town deejay had called her up and said he would pay her to read his manuscript and help him edit it. When she asked him what kind of writing he did, he had said erotic poetry. Her cheeks had flushed and she had been glad that a phone line separated them. She had told him she would get back to him.

After driving home, she had made a warm fire in the small living room and started preparing dinner in the kitchen. She kept it simple, mixing some canned vegetables into a chicken broth to make soup and heating up some of Maggie's venison. The sharp odor made her eyes tear a bit because she and Matt had often ate what his daddy and Uncle Roy had brought back from hunting trips while growing up. She sighed when she thought of Roy, the last person she had seen before leaving L.A. She had told him she would get in touch with him as soon as she settled in Cicely. Because he had enjoyed and survived a long stint as a covert operative, she knew he could be trusted with her secret. Still, she hadn't called him yet because it still felt too painful.

She heard someone knocking on the door.

"Coming," she said.

She opened it and saw Shelli standing there with a basket in her hands.

"It's just some more of that sparkling cider," she said, "It's nice that I'm not the only one in town drinking it."

C.J. took it from her, saying thank you.

"I was just making dinner," she said, "Would you like to stay?"

"I can't stay long," Shelli said, "Hollings is hosting a poetry reading at the Brick and I've got to help make some finger food."

"You two have been very nice to me," C.J. started.

Shelli just smiled.

"You and me are in the same club," she said, "We're both knocked up and before long, our lives are going to change so much, we won't know what hit us."

C.J. felt like she had already gone a round or two with what Fate threw her way but she knew what Shelli meant.

"Thank you," she said, softly, "It just happened. We didn't plan it or anything."

Shelli shrugged.

"That's okay," she said, "I had one of those…false pregnancies so at first I didn't know this one was for real."

"I know the feeling," C.J. said, "It took a while for it to hit me that I was going to have this other life depending on me."

"I know," Shelli said, "It's just such a huge responsibility. And all these decisions to make. Hollings is so much better handling it than I am."

She glanced at C.J. who suddenly looked distant.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

C.J. smiled.

"It's okay, it hasn't been long since he's been gone," she said.

Shelli sighed.

"Your baby's daddy."

C.J. nodded.

"Did he leave you," Shelli asked, "Did he walk out?"

"He died almost three months ago," C.J. said, "He was killed in an accident."

Shelli's mouth hung open.

"Bummer," she said, "Is that why you came here?"

"That was part of the reason."

"Did he know about the baby?"

C.J. looked away and took a deep breath.

"There wasn't time."

Shelli shook her head, thinking about how sad it all was. She felt even luckier to have a solid man like Hollings in her life even if he did drive her crazy at times.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say.

C.J. smiled at her.

"Thank you but it's all right," she said, "We'll be fine. It just takes some getting used to that we're on our own."

Shelli paused.

"What was he like," she said, "was he hot?"

C.J. looked puzzled and then she smiled again.

"I certainly thought so."

Shelli nodded.

"I bet he was really sweet on you," she said.

"He was my best friend since I was a young girl," C.J. said, "but we didn't get together. Didn't want to mess up a good thing. Until that last night, when we couldn't stop ourselves and didn't want to."

"That sounds romantic," Shelli said, with a sigh, "Hollings and me, it's a lot different. Love at first sight when I first got to Cicely, even though I was with Maurice at the time."

C.J. raised her brows.

"You were with him?"

Shelli nodded.

"Until I saw Hollings for the first time and it just hit me, like an electric shock throughout my body and I had to have him," she said, "So I did and we've been together ever since."

"He certainly seems to adore you," C.J. noted.

"He does the cutest things to show it," Shelli said, "and even though I'm getting fat and round and my butt is humongous, he never lets me feel less than beautiful."

"You're lucky," C.J. said, "but so is he."

Maggie walked into the piano bar and saw him playing. Not that he was great or anything but he could carry a tune pretty well. The room was nearly empty and a waiter wiped down the empty tables.

"Where did you learn to play," she asked, standing behind him.

He kept stroking the keys.

"I went out with a concert pianist," he said, "She taught me how to play a couple of duets."

She raised her brow.

"You solo pretty well," she said, sitting down on the bench beside him.

He looked at her.

"Oh I play too," she said, "Not very well of course because it's been years since I've had lessons and I lost my piano to the promotion of performance art but I still play now and then."

He started to play a duet and she smiled, jumping right in and they played together for a while.

"You're pretty good," he said, after they stopped.

"I never wanted the lessons," Maggie said, "My sister's the music prodigy but now I'm glad I took them."

Josh called the waiter over.

"I'd like a Scotch on the rocks," he said, then looked at Maggie, "and what the lady would like."

"I'll take a brandy," she said.

They went to sit at a nearby table. When they got their drinks, she nursed hers thoughtfully.

"Now Joel thinks I drink too much…"

He looked confused.

"Who's Joel?"

She looked exasperated.

"He's the town doctor," she said, "We paid for his education and he works for us. He's originally from Queens, New York."

"Is he your fellow?"

She laughed.

"God no," she said, "We can't stand each other. Besides I date men who love the outdoors and Joel's afraid to go outside his cabin half the time."

He sipped his drink.

"So you have a boyfriend…"

She shook her head.

"The last guy I dated died in a tragic accident," she said, "A satellite hit him."

His drink paused on the way to his lips.

"A what?"

She sighed.

"A space satellite," she explained, "It fell out of the sky and hit him. He died instantly."

"Yeah I imagine he would," Josh said, "I'm sorry for your loss."

She smiled.

"It's okay," she said, "I'm moving on. He's not the only boyfriend I've had who's died anyway."

He narrowed his eyes.

"How many have there been?"

"Four…maybe five," she said, "I think I lost count."

He shook his head.

"Surely you don't think that you're the cause," he said.

"Oh no, not at all," she said, "They were all horrible coincidences. But people talk about it behind my back a lot including at the funerals."

She didn't know why she was telling him the most difficult chapter of her life history but something in his eyes made her feel comfortable enough in his presence to share anything about herself.

"I don't know why I told you all this," she said, "Some guys say I should come with a warning label or something."

He frowned.

"That's not very nice of them."

She sipped her brandy, feeling it burn her throat in a way that soothed her.

"What about you," she said, "Anything like that in your history?"

He hesitated and she saw something flicker in his eyes for a brief moment before he shook his head.

"I'm not really that complicated," he said, "I'm just a guy who likes what I do and loves to see the world."

"Anyone special," she asked.

His eyes clouded and now she knew she had hit a sore spot.

"I'm sorry," she said, "It's really none of my business."

"I had to go away for a while," he said, "and I came back and everything changed."

"A woman was one of the things that changed," Maggie guessed.

He didn't say anything but he nodded.

"She couldn't wait for you or something like that?"

"It's a little more complicated than that," he said.

She looked away.

"I'm sorry, it's really none of my business," she said.

He looked into his glass.

"I had to leave her suddenly," he said, "It was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"I never left anyone," Maggie said, "They left me so I think I might know how she felt."

C.J. dropped by the Brick to check out the poetry reading. She left her warm cabin, started up the car and drove through the frigid night to check out the lumberjacks, hair stylists, explorers and one alternative music deejay who would be reciting their poems from the mike in front of an appreciative and well-fed and watered crowd.

Shelli beamed as she saw her while circulating more snacks on the refreshment tables.

"This is the largest crowd yet," she enthused, "There's still a few seats in the back."

C.J. went and sat down next to Ed and a red-headed woman holding a baby on her lap.

"Did I miss much," she asked.

Ed shrugged.

"The loggers over there did some haikus," he said, "and the woman over there who does hair wrote some sonnets."

The red-headed woman put her finger on her lips.

"Shhh," she said, "I want to hear this."

Ed turned towards C.J.

"That's Eve."

"You mean Adam's Eve?"

Ed nodded.

"He's in Switzerland attending a culinary convention," he explained.

Eve turned to look at them.

"My husband is one of the foremost chefs in the world," she said, "He inspired Wolfgang Puck to do his best work."

"That's nice," C.J. said.

Eve scrutinized her.

"How long until you're due?"

C.J. looked at her surprised but then figured she must have heard it on the town's equivalent of a grapevine.

"A little over six months."

Eve nodded.

"Are you getting all your vitamins, your folic acid, calcium and staying away from farm-raised salmon and shellfish?"

C.J. just looked at her.

"What?"

Eve flashed a look of impatience.

"Are you going with Lamaze, natural child-birth, induced labor or in a controlled aqua environment with dolphins?"

"I don't know yet," C.J. said.

"Midwife, doula or doctor," Eve continued, "Now Dr. Freishman's not a bad doctor but he's not a licensed specialist in Ob/Gyn or pediatrics let alone…"

"Eve is a walking encyclopedia of information," Ed said.

"I have some pregnancy manuals you can borrow," Eve said.

"Are you a doctor," C.J. asked.

Eve laughed.

"No, just an informed patient," she said, "You can never be too careful."

"No you can't be," C.J. agreed.

Chris stood up and began reading his collection of erotic poetry. Shelli walked by Ed and C.J.

"Isn't he something," she said, "He's got such a way with words. It gives me goose pimples."

C.J. got up to get some more snacks. She bumped into Joel at the table. He turned and smiled at her.

"You've been working with Ed I noticed," he said.

She nodded.

"I'm helping him research his film," she said.

"The one Maurice has him doing," Joel said, "That's going to be interesting to see whose vision of Cicely's history prevails after the final cut."

"I heard that Maurice wants one that will appeal more to tourists whereas Ed's taste is more avant garde," C.J. said.

"It's Maurice's money," Joel said, "He'll get what he wants and Ed will get a good lesson on how an artist's vision can be compromised by the reality of commercialism."

"You're a cynic," C.J. noted.

"I'm trapped up here in Alaska when I could be working towards a Park Avenue address," Joel grumbled.

"Is Maggie back yet," C.J. asked.

Joel shook his head.

"She got stuck in Anchorage with her passenger and some medical equipment she was to bring me," Joel said, "She'll be in tomorrow morning."

Josh had a couple more drinks before he said goodnight to Maggie and went to his hotel room. She watched him leave the bar after she made a weak play for him simply because it was expected of her. Any thoughts she had of trying to come on to him because after all, she was sure sexy enough, she packed away. She really had to move away from these casual flings that she had engaged in since Rick died.

She nursed another brandy, careful not to imbibe too much because she had to fly the next day. He had been ruggedly handsome but nice. Not that she sensed he had any interest in here whatsoever. His mind obviously was elsewhere and perhaps so was his heart. Another handsome guy nursing a broken heart with a trip to America's last wilderness and they were a dime a dozen. No doubt, it would cater to his alpha nature and a week or so spent hiking, hunting and kayaking would set him right again. She wondered if he would actually get any work done. Maybe it would be worth her while to keep him so busy during his stay in Cicely that he wouldn't have enough time to make any land deals with Maurice. Yes, now there was a plan.

Josh just lay on his bed, thinking back to the evening he had just spent with the pilot he had hired to fly him to Cicely. She had been nice enough, very beautiful and definitely spirited. She reminded him of someone else.

He had listened to her tales involving her dead boyfriends, wondering if any part of her believed she had played any role in their deaths. That couldn't be possible, he knew but he also knew a lot about the strength of perceptions and how they could influence people and the decisions they made. After all, he had been in that position many times himself.

Maggie had been nice, when he had decided to head off to bed…alone. Sure, she had come on to him a little bit, saying that just because she had left behind some a trail of dead boyfriends didn't mean that hooking up with her was the kiss of death or anything. He didn't have the energy or even the heart to tell her that even if she were deadly to the men that she encountered, that he was immune to her worst having died once already.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning broke beautifully and the snow on the ground melted into hundreds of little rivulets heading off to form larger streams of water down Cicely's roads. C.J. had come back to the cabin after the poetry event at the Brick and headed off to bed, exhausted. But after a good night's sleep, she got up bright and early to join Ed at the brick for an early morning breakfast meeting with Maurice. She gathered her notes and walked out to her car.

When she arrived, she saw the two men seated at a table talking to Hollings who served them steaming plates of bacon and omelets. C.J. felt her stomach turn at the smell and decided to settle for some oatmeal and steamed milk. Shelli took her order then rushed to the kitchen to check on some flapjacks Dave prepared for some loggers sitting in the corner.

Maurice had already started his pitch.

"Now envision this Ed," he continued, "A premiere screening of your finished product at the local theater. Red carpet treatment for all the visiting celebrities. And don't forget the paparazzi all lined up waiting for the limousines to arrive."

Ed just nodded.

"We can have a pre-launch event at the convention center," Maurice said, "A select guest list and professional catering from Paris…or Milan…"

"Right," Ed said, still nodding.

C.J. looked at Ed.

"Is this really what you want," she said, "A Hollywood style production?"

He shrugged.

C.J. opened up her folder.

"I think it should be a smaller opening and that you should build an audience," she said, "Less overhead in the beginning. Better for a town this size."

Ed nodded.

"I like her idea Maurice."

Maurice put down his fork.

"It sounds awfully girly to me," he said.

Ed looked at C.J. who folded her arms.

"I've been to a premiere or two," she said, "I know what works and what doesn't."

"Is that so young lady?"

She sipped her juice.

"I think a down-scaled, more casual approach is the best way to promote the film and your town."

Maurice chuckled.

"You do, do you?"

She didn't seem fazed.

"It's better than putting together a fake Hollywood production," she countered, "Doing that just seems cheesy."

Maurice sipped his coffee.

"And where does your level of expertise come from again?"

C.J. shrugged.

"I spent a few years living and working in L.A. and picked up a thing or two like I said."

Maurice leaned back in his chair to think about it.

"I went to a lot of the great premieres and they attract large crowds and media attention," he said.

"True," C.J. conceded, "but maybe that's going to overwhelm the town itself. Cicely's a lot smaller than L.A. or New York City."

Maurice nodded thinking about it.

"I'm trying to build up Cicely slowly," he said, "Sure it's a small town now but picture it in about 10 years from now. Five-star restaurants, top-rate entertainment venues and a museum or two."

C.J. considered that.

"That sounds great, but it's still a ways away."

"I've got a developer who's coming up to discuss Cicely's future with me tomorrow," he said, "Maggie's flying him up from Anchorage."

"She told me about him," C.J. said, "How many of them have you seen?"

Maurice paused.

"Oh a dozen or so," he said, "all with grandiose visions. I just haven't found the right fit yet but I will."

"Maybe," C.J. said, "but this is a very nice town so don't develop it too much or you'll lose what makes it so special."

Ed nodded.

"I'm with her."

Maurice waved his hand.

"A teenaged boy and a pregnant woman," he said, "You're both too filled with hormones to know what you want."

Maurice had grown irritated with the both of them at that point and the breakfast meeting soon ended so C.J. and Ed took off in his truck to do more interviews. As they drove towards the outskirts of town, C.J. just looked out the window at the wooded areas that began where the pavement ended.

"Maurice is a piece of work," she said.

Ed looked at her.

"Oh that's Maurice, don't let him bother you," he said, "He always gets like that."

"He tells everyone what to do," C.J. said, "or he belittles them."

"Maurice just cares about the town," Ed said.

C.J. figured that he really did but he cared as much about profits too. She had seen her fair share of corruption in small towns including one which her childhood friend Julia Martin had tried to save before she died and then there was Lake Utah, where she and Matt had wound up getting trapped inside Murray's car while the town residents pounded it with baseball bats. Still, there was a lot of good in most of the ones she had traveled through.

"I think he does in his own way," C.J. said, watching several deer walk by the side of the road.

"He misses his girlfriend Barbara," Ed said, "She hasn't been by Cicely in a while."

"She's not from around here?"

He shook his head.

"She's a state trooper," he said, "So she just drops by once in a while if there's crime which isn't very often."

C.J. nodded.

"Maybe that explains it," she said, "I do understand what it's like to miss someone."

Ed looked at her.

"Your baby's father."

She looked at him startled but Ed had returned to his omelet.

Maggie landed her plane at Cicely's little air strip and helped Josh unpack his luggage and carry it to the hanger. He looked around him at the wilderness bordering the runway.

"There's some rooms available next to the Brick," Maggie said.

"What's the Brick," Josh asked as they entered the building where Josh planned to rent a car.

"It's a bar and restaurant in the center of town," she said, "Everyone winds up there at some time or another."

"I'll guess I'll start there then," Josh said,

He picked up his car and drove off to look for the Brick. In front of him, a moose wandered in the street looking around. He blinked his eyes and thought, I'm really not in L.A. anymore.

C.J. and Ed interviewed a family that had traced its roots back to the town's founding before heading back on the road.

"Do you think about him a lot," Ed asked, picking up their conversation from earlier that day.

She looked at him, and nodded.

"It's hard not to," she said, "I thought moving might help, not that I don't like it here."

"You loved him."

She looked out the window again.

"Yes I really think I did," she said, "I never told him that."

"Where's he now?"

"He's dead."

"I'm sorry."

She shrugged.

"He was killed just a couple of months ago," she said, "I still miss him."

At that point, the truck listed on the road and C.J. knew that one of the tires had gone flat. Ed pulled the truck over by the side of the road and both of them got out to change the tire. They both got out of the car.

"Where's the spare?"

"I don't have one," Ed said simply.

"It's going to be a little hard to change a flat without one."

He sat on the ground.

"We'll just wait."

She joined him.

"For someone to come by and help us?"

He nodded.

"Exactly."

She wondered how long it would take until someone passed by.

"What was he like?"

She looked up at Ed.

"What do you mean?"

"Was he nice to you," Ed asked.

She smiled.

"I knew him most of my life," she said, "He was my very best friend."

Ed nodded.

"Did he know you were having…"

She shook her head.

"When he died, I didn't know," she said, "I think he would have been excited."

"I didn't know my parents," Ed said, softly.

"You were adopted," she asked.

He nodded.

"I was found in the bushes near the river by some of the tribal leaders," Ed said, "I have a large family now."

She smiled.

"That must be nice," she said, "My parents died when I was young and I didn't have any sisters or brothers. With Houston gone…"

"You'll have a family when your baby's born," Ed said, "and you've got the whole town."

She nodded, feeling her eyes sting with unshed tears.

Josh entered the Brick and looked around. The place was crowded and a young woman, her blond hair tied up in a pony tail moved from table to table carrying an assortment of orders. After she had unloaded the last tray, she saw him and came on over.

"I'm Shelli, your waitress," she said, "Welcome to the Brick."

He smiled.

"I'm Josh," he said, "I flew in this morning with a Maggie O'Connell."

Shelli nodded.

"Yeah, she mentioned you," she said, "How'd your night in Anchorage go?"

He scratched his head wondering how much information Maggie had given the rest of the town about him.

"It went…fine," he said, "Listen, do you know where I can find a Maurice?"

Shelli shrugged.

"You just missed him," she said, "I could give you directions to his house."

"That would be great, thanks," he said, looking around the bar, "You've got a great place here."

"It got written up in the Anchorage newspaper last month," Shelli said, "They sent a guy to take pictures and everything."

Hollings called from the kitchen. She yelled something back.

"I guess I'd better see what's cooking in the kitchen," she said and then flounced off.

She went through the doors and saw Dave and Hollings piling some food on dishes for her to pick up.

"Did the tourist group take off," Hollings said.

"Yeah, and they left decent tips," Shelli said, "And there's a hot looking guy outside looking for Maurice."

Hollings brow furrowed.

"I wonder what for," he said, "I wonder what Maurice is up to now."

"It's probably the developer guy Maggie was talking about yesterday," Shelli said, "She didn't say anything about him being so great looking. Every single girl in Cicely is going to want to put their hooks into him."

"Shelli, that's his blessing or curse not yours."

She picked up some plates.

"I know Hollings," she said, "but I'm not sure he's looking. Maggie told me that he was friendly enough but that he turned her down."

"Maybe he already has a girl at home."

Shelli's face looked doubtful.

"A woman knows these things and I didn't see that either."

Hollings tried to hide his exasperation.

"I'm sure that he doesn't need you helping him manage his social calendar," he said.

Shelli harrumphed.

"I was thinking much smaller than that," she said, "Maybe we could throw him a little welcoming party."

She took the plates and went out in the bar, leaving Hollings there shaking his head.

C.J. and Ed were rescued by one of his neighbors who quickly put a spare tire on his truck to replace the flattened one and they drove back to the Brick to get some sustenance. Shelli looked at them as they entered the bar and sat down at a nearby table.

"Is it busy today," Ed asked, looking around.

Shelli sighed.

"It just never stops," she said, "We had two groups of tourists and two logger crews."

They ordered some food.

"Oh, and Maggie's passenger dropped by looking for Maurice," she said, "but he had already left."

Ed nodded.

"After our production meeting with him."

"He was sure a hunk," Shelli said, with a sigh, "Not that I would leave Hollings or anything but if I did…"

"You'd break his heart," Ed said, simply.

Shelli nodded.

"Oh don't worry Ed," she said, "A gal can just look and besides,"

She put her hand on her burgeoning belly.

"Who's going to want a chick who's knocked up?"

C.J. tried to smile and when Shelli saw her face, her heart sank.

"Oh I didn't mean it that way…"

"I know and I'm not looking," C.J. said, "I'm fully prepared to go on my own at least for a while."

Shelli looked at Ed, shaking her head.

Josh unpacked his suitcase in his room. He placed his clothes in a nearby dresser and hung some things in the closet. The room was simply decorated with furniture and a few ancient pictures hanging on the wall. He reached to the bottom of his carryon and unpacked his handgun, strapping on the holster and putting the gun inside it.

He sat at a nearby table and took some folders out of his bag. Some papers and a photograph of a young woman with dark hair and a smile that would melt even the iciest heart. Opening a couple of the folders, he pulled out papers that needed his signature before being sent back. He didn't know how long he was planning on staying in Cicely but it might be for a while. He had followed a trail for the past couple of weeks and it had led to this small, if somewhat eccentric town in the farthest reach of Alaska.

The rest of the town saw him as a developer, one of a pack of them that descended regularly on a town on the cusp of development such as this one. That would enable him to fit in with the scenery and not really be noticed much while he conducted his mission.

He picked up the photograph and looked at it thoughtfully.

C.J. walked down the streets of the town, after leaving Ed and the Brick. She passed Chris' who was working at his radio station and waved to her from behind the window. Walking into Ruth-Anne's store, she noticed some pickled herrings on the shelf and impulsively picked up a can of them. She had been experiencing these strange cravings for the tiny fish. Probably a normal part of being pregnant, she guessed.

"Those are really good with crackers," Ruth-Anne said from behind the counter, "You should try them."

C.J. smiled.

"I didn't even know I liked herrings until I woke up this morning and had to have some," she said.

"When I was pregnant, I craved kelp," Ruth-Anne said, "I ate sheets and sheets of it for months."

C.J. put several cans of herring and some crackers on the counter.

"Have you been having morning sickness?"

She shook her head.

"I just tire more easily than usual," she said, "but I haven't been feeling too badly like I did in the beginning."

"That's good," Ruth-Anne said, "So how do you like working with Ed?"

"I like it," C.J. said, "Maurice has been trying to influence Ed to change his vision but we've been out interviewing people and it's been fun."

Ruth-Anne made a face.

"Maurice often tries to control what goes on in Cicely," she said, "Most often he doesn't get away with it."

"Ed stood up to him pretty well," C.J. said, "but I can tell Maurice isn't too impressed with young women."

Ruth-Anne chuckled.

"He doesn't think much of older ones either," she said, "There's an exception here and there but I think a woman as bright and educated as yourself should be able to handle him."

"I hope so," C.J. said, "not that I haven't had a lot of practice being an attorney."

Maggie walked in.

"Ruth-Anne, I need some aspirin," she said.

"Top shelf next to the fishing lures," Ruth-Anne said.

"I just got back from an overnight stay in Anchorage and I've got a headache," she said.

Ruth-Anne smiled.

"I saw your passenger earlier at the Brick," she said, "He's gone off to meet with Maurice."

Maggie put some canned goods on the counter.

"He's a land speculator," she said, "Maurice is probably going to have him build a strip mall or movie theater."

Ruth-Anne shrugged.

"It hasn't happened yet," she said, "developers come to Cicely with their dreams but then they leave empty handed."

"He was very handsome in a rugged yet refined way," Maggie said, "Played a mean piano but he went to bed pretty early."

"Maybe he was tired from his travels," Ruth-Anne said.

"I don't know," Maggie said, "He seemed preoccupied, like he had something on his mind."

C.J. half-listened to the discussion, her curiosity picking up but she could never be too careful. Every time she heard of a new arrival, she felt apprehension fill her that it might be someone trying to find her. So far, they had just been tourists or traveling businessmen.

"He'd better be on his game if he doesn't want to get mowed down by Maurice's sales pitch," Ruth-Anne said.

Maurice let Josh into his spacious living room and Josh took in the elaborate interior design. Obviously Maurice had a well padded bank account and most likely, capital in real estate investments. He also liked to hunt and fish judging by the trophies on the wall.

"Would you like a Scotch," Maurice said, "I think we need to celebrate."

"Celebrate what," Josh said, "We haven't signed off on any deal yet."

Maurice poured the glasses.

"No, but I can envision one coming," he said, "I've got a good parcel that I'd like to show you on the edge of town."

Josh took his drink and sipped it slowly.

"I'd like to take a look at it," he said, "But I'm interested in larger sized parcels."

"Oh this one's big," Maurice said, "Large enough for a shopping center."

"I don't do shopping malls," Josh said.

"What do you do?"

"I build affordable housing."

Maurice just stared at him.

"Did I just hear you right?"

Josh nodded.

"Yes you did," he said.

Maurice looked at the younger man like he was crazy.

"We need to expand the commercial enterprises first," Maurice said, "We need to get that done before we build any more houses."

"You can do that Maurice," Josh said, "But it seems to be that as long as I've been in this business that those who aren't millionaires get the short end of the stick."

"That won't happen," Maurice protested, "They just have to pick themselves up by their bootstraps."

Josh smiled.

"Like you did."

"Hell yes, I did," Maurice said, "I started with nearly nothing and got to where I am today through hard work and business acumen."

Josh looked around the room at the splendor.

"Do you have any kids," he asked.

Maurice looked like he had been caught by surprise but he nodded.

"I have a son who's an engineer in South Korea," he said, "I'm very proud of him. And yourself?"

Josh looked at his drink.

"Not yet," he said, "I haven't had the time to meet the right woman and raise a family. I travel too much."

Maurice nodded.

"That can be a problem," he said, "You need to find yourself a piece of land where you can set down some roots."

Josh listened, but he knew he had to stop living this double life first. He had come to Cicely in the furthest corner of the Alaskan wilderness looking for something. At least that's what he had told himself when he packed up his bags and set off. He had been away for several months paying off a debt that he had owed to someone who had saved his life. The only problem was that the world he had returned to was much different than the one he had left and one very important thing was missing. And he was here to try to find it before it was too late.


	5. Chapter 5

C.J. sat and listened to Shelli talk about how important it was to use just the right exfoliate to rid yourself of the dead skin and allow the newer layer to shine through. She had invited the group of women sitting at a table at the Brick mixing and matching ingredients to make facial masks. C.J. hadn't been sure she wanted to come but had decided to show up rather than face another night by herself in her cabin.

Shelli had welcomed her enthusiastically and they had put out some refreshments as the other women began to arrive, talking excitedly.

"So you and Ed have been jamming on that film he's working on for Maurice," she asked.

C.J. nodded.

"It's been a lot of fun and it's going really well," she said, "We've just got a few more interviews to do and then he'll start editing it."

"I heard you were going to work with Maurice," Shelli continued, dipping into the veggie mix.

C.J. shook her head.

"I think he's more interested in a personal relationship of some sort than a professional one," she said.

Shelli shrugged.

"That's Maurice for sure," she said, "but just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you have to be chick who's flying solo. I mean you could do worse than Maurice and I know from experience."

"I know," C.J. said, "but I still really miss him and I'm not ready for anyone else. I don't know if I'll ever be."

Shelli shrugged.

"That's cool," she said, "If anything happened to Holliings, I don't know I'd handle it without wigging out but everyone in his family lived to be over 100 so he's got a long way to go."

"That's great," C.J. said, "Then your baby will know his or her father."

"Yeah…," Shelli said, "He must have been a great guy."

"He was."

Josh walked by the Brick, as small snowflakes floated down through the chilled air. He put his hands in his pockets and focused on getting back to his warm hotel room next to the bar. As he passed by the windows, he heard some laughter that sounded like it came from women. Peeking inside the window, he saw the women sitting at tables and mixing together ingredients into bowls and talking among themselves. He almost started walking again and then he saw her.

Sitting next to Shelli the waitress he had met earlier that day, was a young woman with dark mahogany hair over her shoulders and wearing a knit sweater. She was smiling at something the other woman said, while pulling apart pieces of a dried plant. She didn't sense his presence by the window but kept on mixing items in her bowl as another woman came to sit down beside her.

His heart quickened as his eyes took in her beauty and he felt himself missing her more than the time that he had been gone. He remembered the last time he had seen her, flashing the same smile as he walked away from her. His heart had been light even as danger had swirled around them because she had spent the better part of the night showing him how much she loved him. She hadn't said the words to him but he had known what was in her heart.

He sighed as he remembered that he hadn't told her how much she and that night had meant to him. The softness of her skin beneath his fingers and her breath against his neck. The woman got up from the table and walked closer to the window. He noticed that underneath her smile, she looked tired and that as she made herself tea at the refreshment table, he saw a hint of sadness on her face. That filled him with regret because that was the last emotion he ever wanted her to remember him by.

C.J. got off of the table. Joel closed her chart.

"It looks like everything's proceeding just fine on the gestational front," he said, "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," she said, "Just a little tired."

"Nausea?"

She shook her head.

"It's mostly gone."

"That's good," Joel said, "I might schedule for an ultrasound soon so we can see how things are going."

C.J. looked up.

"Really," she asked, suddenly feeling excitement fill, "That would be great."

Joel nodded.

"It will give you a chance to see your baby," he said, "Of course, it's still early in the pregnancy."

"That's fine," she said, "I want to see him or her."

"Okay, I'll set it up," he said, leaving the examination room.

C.J. watched him go, smiling as she put her hands on her abdomen. Her clothes still fit but were beginning to feel tight. She would have to go shopping and she didn't know where in this tiny town to find maternity clothes.

"You can buy clothes from a store down the street," a woman said.

She looked up and saw Marilyn carry some items into the examination room.

"Thanks," C.J. said, "I'll need to do that soon."

She left the clinic and walked to where she would be meeting Ed.

Josh got an early start in the morning to head out to check out some property with Maurice. He ate an early breakfast at the Brick with Maggie who had some repairs to do on Joel's cabin that day. She asked him how he liked his accommodations and he said they suited him just fine.

"That's good," she said, nodding, "My mother stayed there for a couple of days…after burning my house down."

He looked at her puzzled at her comments about her volatile family relationships. He hadn't experienced that in his own life having never known his mother who died when he was very young but having shared a very close relationship with his father before he passed on several years ago.

"And it's handy to have a place to crash after one of the Brick's parties," she continued, eating her omelet.

"I don't go to many parties these days," he said.

She looked at him, seeing the guarded look on his face beneath his handsome features.

"You too busy traveling?"

"Something like that," he said.

She sipped her juice.

"There's going to be a party there tonight," Maggie said, "It's Dave's birthday and Hollings is throwing him a little bash."

"You extending an invitation?"

She winked at him.

"If you're interested," she said, "And after spending a day out with Maurice, it'll be good for you to relax."

He smiled as he drove towards the property. Maggie was a nice enough woman and very pretty but all she did was remind him of someone else.

C.J. listened to Ed talking about Dave the cook's birthday party which would be held at the Brick that night. She found going home by herself to her cabin at night to be depressing so she nodded her head at Ed's invitation and said she'd be there. At least for a little while.

The people in Cicely had been so nice to her since she had arrived and she enjoyed spending time with them.

"It will be a great party," Ed said, "Hollings always throws great parties."

C.J. looked out the window at the snow falling down.

"It looks like it's going to be coming down," she said.

Ed nodded.

"It's that time of year," he said.

"It's kind of pretty," C.J. said, "how it sits on the trees."

Josh met Maurice and toured the property but didn't want to act too impressed with it. Maurice didn't seem too taken aback by his nonchalance. Joel walked by, pulling his parka closer around him.

"Maurice, prescription is in today if you want to pick it up," he said.

The former astronaut looked distracted.

"I'll pick it up later," he said, "Can't you see I'm trying to conduct a business transaction here?"

Joel looked around and watched Josh walk around the parcel.

"I can see that Maurice," he said, "So do you have a buyer for this land?"

"I hope so," Maurice said, "This guy's loaded with money or he's working for someone who is."

"So you're going to put in a shopping mall or an entertainment complex," Joel asked.

Maurice threw Joel a pitying look.

"Son, I've got greater vision than that," he said.

Josh walked up to them.

"It's a pretty nice parcel," he said, "but I'm going to have to think about it. Call the boss up and see what he thinks."

Maurice nodded.

"Fair enough," he said, "Just don't take too long. There's a couple other prospective buyers but since I like your style, I'll give you the first offer."

"That's mighty generous of you," Josh said, "I'll get back to you."

"So you going to the Brick tonight to Dave's party," Joel asked.

Josh nodded.

"Maggie invited me," he said, "She's a nice woman."

Joel's face lit up.

"Wait a minute, she invited…Maggie invited you?"

Josh picked up something in his voice that told him Joel carried more for the young pilot than he claimed.

"Yes she did," he said, "But I think she was just being friendly and sociable."

Joel chuckled derisively.

"Two words not always associated with Maggie O'Connell," he said.

Maurice looked at the both of them.

"Listen are you both interested in Maggie?"

Josh and Joel looked back at him.

C.J. worked with Shelli in the kitchen.

"Blue and gold color scheme would be awesome for Dave's party," she said.

"Where's Dave anyway?"

"Oh some of the guys took him ice fishing," Shelli said.

C.J. put some plates on one of the tables set up in the bar.

"He's going to be surprised," she said.

Shelli smiled.

"Oh not much fazes Dave," she said, "But he'll be happy about the party."

C.J. watched Shelli bring out some glasses.

"Maggie's new friend might be coming tonight," Shelli said.

"Who's that?"

"The guy who flew in with her yesterday," Shelli said.

"Oh yeah, I haven't met him," C.J. said.

'He's really hot," Shelli said, "Not that I'm going after him or anything. It's been a while since Maggie's even looked at a guy since Rick bought it after the satellite hit him."

"I know how that feels," C.J. said.

"Well anyway, I think it would be good for her to have a new guy in her life," Shelli said, "She's been a bit out of sorts lately and a chick who's going to be looking at the big 3-0 soon needs to have someone to hang onto for the ride."

"You only have one life," C.J. said, "You should do what makes you happy because you never know when it can all be taken away from you."

Shelli nodded solemnly.

"Aint that the truth," she said.

Josh and Joel walked around the parcel of land while Maurice made a phone call.

"Are you serious about Maggie," Joel asked, "Not that I really care about it one way or the other because I don't, she's been the bane of my existence in this polar ice cap prison since…"

Josh interrupted him.

"Look, is there a point to this," he asked, "because it sounds like she's your girl."

Joel's face paled.

"No way, is she my girlfriend," he said, "I mean Maggie has her moments when she's almost human but I've…we've learned that it's just better if we keep each other at a distance."

"She's very attractive," Josh said, "If you're interested, I wouldn't let her too far out of your sight."

Joel's eyes narrowed.

"Are you going to make a play for her," he said, "because I might as well tell you, you'd have better luck with an iceberg."

Josh shook his head.

"Maggie's a very nice woman but I'm not interested," he said, "I'm just passing through but I think that you're selling her way too short."

Joel grew flustered.

"Well it just happens that I know Maggie O'Connell just a bit better than you do," he insisted, "I know of which I speak."

Josh stopped and looked at him.

"Do you even like women Joel?"

Joel started to protest but then he stopped and thought about it a minute.

"Of course I do," he said, "I just don't understand them most of the time."

Josh shrugged.

"Maybe that's because you don't listen to them very well," he said.

At that, Joel turned on him.

"And what makes you the expert on the female gender," he said, "You waltz into town and then you start lecturing me on how to relate to women?"

Josh sighed.

"I'm someone who's made more than my share of mistakes with them," he said, "including some really big ones lately but the world wouldn't be as exciting without them."

Joel calmed down a little at the gravity in the other man's voice.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I was engaged when I came here and then she dumped me for some judge old enough to collect social security."

"I've been engaged a few times myself," Josh said, "It never worked out."

"But you're going to Dave's party with Maggie," Joel said, "So you obviously have gotten over your setbacks."

Josh just looked at him a moment.

"I'm going with her because it beats sitting and staring at the four walls of a hotel room," he said, "and it was nice of her to offer."

Dave's party went off without a hitch. The men had brought him back from ice fishing and he had been duly surprised and delighted to see a crowd of Cicely's residents cheer his arrival at the Brick and sing him happy birthday. Soon the drinks were flowing and the food that had been laid out on tables wound up filling people's plates and their stomachs. C.J spent most of her time in the kitchen helping Hollings and Shelli finish up the final touches on the birthday cake that had been custom made for the cook right under his nose. She put some frosting on the rim of the cake and thought it didn't look half bad.

Shelli buzzed in with a smile on her face.

"Isn't it awesome to see such a great party going on," she said, "We kicked some serious ass on this one."

C.J. felt that Shelli's enthusiasm was contagious and she felt her mood lift.

"Why don't you come out and join in," Shelli asked, "I'll take over here. The cake looks bitchin'."

"Thanks," C.J. said, then took off her apron, "I think I'll do that."

She left Shelli and walked into the Brick which was wall to wall people and filled with the sounds of music playing off an old juke box. Ed walked up to her after going to the refreshment tables for seconds.

"This is a great party," Ed said.

C.J. nodded.

"It's really nice," she agreed, "I think Dave's having a lot of fun."

"Dave loves parties," Ed said, "He can throw a really great one too."

C.J. looked around.

"I don't see Maggie," she said, "Isn't she coming?"

Ed nodded.

"She's waiting for her friend outside," he said, "so they can make an entrance."

C.J. narrowed her eyes.

"But it's freezing outside," she said.

"Maggie doesn't mind the cold," he said, simply.

C.J. saw Shelli signaling her from just outside the kitchen and knew it was time to bring out the cake. She went into the kitchen to help Shelli carry it out to the bar.


	6. Chapter 6

Josh entered the Brick with Maggie and felt the warmth surround him along with a crowd of party goers. He saw the lights dim and saw two women enter with the cake. His heart quickened when he saw the brunette one with a slender figure smile as she lit the candles after they set the cake down on the table. She was wearing some jeans and a knit sweater, her hair framed around her face. People moved closer to the table and then a chorus of voices of different timbres began singing the birthday song for Dave.

He didn't think she could see him hidden in the crowd and her mind appeared focused on what she and Shelli were doing. For a moment, he thought about just walking out of there before she did spot him. He had wanted to approach her when she was alone so he could explain to her everything that had happened and why he had made the decisions that he had made. Not sure how receptive she would be, he didn't want to run into her in the middle of a crowd and find out.

After the song had finished, C.J. and Shelli began slicing pieces of cake for everyone to eat. Across the room, Maggie looked up at Josh.

"Don't you want to try the cake," she said.

He looked at her and she frowned momentarily at what she saw there.

"I'll go over and get you a piece if you'd like," she offered.

He just nodded and Maggie walked over. She waited and while Shelli sliced her a couple of pieces, she laughed at something the other woman said. C.J. smiled at the both of them and sipped her glass.

"So Maggie, are you going to bring your guy over here to meet C.J.?"

Maggie looked up and shrugged.

"If you'd like," she said, "I'll go get him and he's not my guy. He's just in town for a few days and then he'll be gone."

She walked away with the plates. C.J. followed her movement with her eyes until she stopped in front of a tall man with dark hair and then her eyes narrowed. The guy had a beard but she thought he looked familiar and then it hit her suddenly who she was looking at. No it couldn't be, she thought as her heart began to race and her legs begin to turn into jelly as her eyes took in a sight that she couldn't believe. After Maggie handed him his plate, Josh looked up suddenly and saw her looking at him and he knew by her facial expression that she had recognized him. He saw sadness, intermixed with relief and more than a little bit of something else that looked like anger.

"Excuse me a minute," he said to Maggie.

He started walking towards her but she moved even faster towards him and her face had filled with so many emotions he couldn't separate one from another. When she reached him, she stopped several feet away unwilling or unable to come closer. Her eyes brimmed with tears but her mouth remained in a stubborn line.

"Houston, It can't be…is it really you," she asked.

He nodded.

"Yes it's me, C.J.," he said, "God, I couldn't wait to see you again."

She looked at him, her features twisted in confusion and pain. He knew better than to approach her.

"How…"

He sighed.

"That's a long story," he said, "and one I'm going to tell you, just not here."

"Why not," she said, "You're already attracting an audience and I want to know where you've been all this time."

Matt looked around and saw a crowd of puzzled people gathering around them. Maggie looked most confused of all.

"Josh?"

He turned around to look at her.

"That's not really my name," he said, "It's Matt…Matt Houston. I'm a private investigator from L.A."

She looked even more confused.

"But I thought…"

C.J. ran her hand through her hair and just shook her head.

"I thought you were dead," she said, "I saw you get in a car which blew up right in front of me."

Maggie just wrinkled her brow.

"What's this," she said, "First you have a different name and now you're supposed to be dead?"

"Maggie," Matt started.

She backed away from him.

"I haven't even slept with you," she said, "and I've already killed you."

C.J. backed away from him, her face incredulous.

"We had just…and then you said you had to leave and you get in a car and…You never even contacted me to tell me you're still alive. You never contacted anyone. You just let us believe you were dead."

"C.J…"

Then she got really angry.

"Don't you dare 'C.J.' me," she said, "Don't get me wrong. I'm really glad you're alive and safe but how could you leave me like that to mourn your death without telling me you weren't really dead?"

"I thought I was going to die," Matt said, "but then someone pulled me out of that explosion and told me I had to repay that favor by doing a job for them."

"What kind of job," she asked, warily.

"I can't talk about it here," he said.

Maggie just looked at the both of them.

"What the hell is going on here or do I even want to know?"

They both ignored her.

"Houston, when you died…or I thought you did, I almost gave up," C.J. said, "I might have if…but if you faked your death, why did you come back at all?"

"I came back for you," he said, "I did what they wanted and now I'm going back home."

She looked at him incredulously.

"You can't go back," she said, "Your uncle and cousin were devastated when you died. We buried you in the cemetery and put a marker there and then we had to move on without you."

He watched her face.

"Did you move on?"

She couldn't look into his eyes. It hurt too much.

"Leave me alone," she said, "You have no right to ask that question."

"C.J.," he said, reaching for her arm but she shook it away, going into the kitchen.

He started following her but Maggie blocked his path, with her arms crossed.

"Maybe you should just leave her alone for now," she said, "I can only imagine how shocked she must be. I mean I had boyfriends die on me but none of them ever came back."

"I need to talk to her," Matt said.

Hollings came up to them.

"Give her some space first," he said, "so that she can calm down. You'll just upset her more."

Joel came walking up as well, waggling his finger at Matt.

"What did you say to my patient to upset her so much?"

Matt narrowed his eyes.

"Your patient," he said, "Is she sick? What's wrong with her?"

Joel folded his arms.

"I can't tell you," he said, "Doctor-patient confidentiality."

"I just want to know if she's okay," Matt said.

"If she wants you to know, she will tell you," Joel said, not budging, "but I won't have you upsetting her."

Joel went into the kitchen. Hollings looked at Matt.

"Listen Josh…"

"Matt, that's my real name."

The news didn't faze Hollings. After all, most everything that could ever happen had done so in Cicely.

"Matt then," he said, "Why don't I buy you a drink?"

Matt looked at him then nodded.

C.J. stood in the kitchen, taking a few deep breaths. Shelli handed her a cup of tea.

"Here, it will help calm your nerves," Shelli said, "I thought I'd seen everything in this bar but never anything quite like that."

"I can't believe it myself," C.J. said, sipping the tea slowly.

"So you know Maggie's friend?"

C.J. nodded.

"He's been my best friend as long as I can remember," she said.

"And you're upset with him because he didn't tell you that he had died," Shelli guessed, "or that he had died but he really didn't."

"Something like that."

Shelli furrowed her brow.

"Aren't you happy he's alive?"

C.J. rubbed her forehead.

"Yeah I am," she said, "but I just can't believe this. I saw him get into a car that exploded right in front of me. His family and his friends buried him. We mourned him and then…"

"You found out you were having a baby," Shelli said, "His baby."

C.J. nodded, wiping her eyes. Shelli shook her head.

"This is just like a soap opera," she said, "I never thought that stuff happened in real life."

"Me neither," C.J. said, "until it happened to me."

Shelli looked at her.

"Don't you think he has a right to know," she said, "about your being knocked up even if you are ticked at him?"

"I would never keep that from him," C.J. said, "I just need some time to calm down and think about it."

Shelli put down two plates of birthday cake.

"We can sit here and try this for a while."

Matt looked at his Scotch before drinking it. Hollings sat beside him.

"I've seen a lot happen in my bar over the years but this takes the cake," he said.

Matt didn't look at him.

"I came back to her as soon as I could," he said, "but not soon enough."

Maurice wondered over.

"What's the matter with you," he said, "How could you leave a classy filly like that?"

"It wasn't like that," Matt said, "We were investigating a situation and someone tried to kill us. When I stepped inside the car, I didn't know about the explosives. When they went off, the next thing I knew is someone pulled me out of the inferno."

Maurice picked up a toothpick and started chewing on it.

"So you faked your own death," he said, nodding, "Old military intelligence maneuver, pretty clever."

Hollings looked at his long-time friend sternly.

"Maurice…"

"Yeah..yeah look he did what he had to do in the situation whatever it was," Maurice said, "We can't judge his actions."

"Where's C.J.," Matt asked.

Hollings looked towards the kitchen.

"Shelli's with her right now," he said, "You should give her a little space."

Matt nodded.

"Not returning to her was one of the hardest things I ever had to do," he said.

Hollings and Maurice looked at each other, wondering what this young man had brought to their town.

Maggie and Joel stood a little distance away. She kept shaking her head.

"I can't believe what just happened," she said.

He looked at her.

"You seem to be holding up pretty well."

She smiled.

"I'm used to boyfriends dying ," she said, "At least this guy's still alive."

"Never a dull moment in Cicely," Joel said, "If there is, it never lasts."

"Joel, maybe you'd better check on how your patient's doing."

He scratched his jaw.

"I'm not sure who that is at the moment."

"How you feelin'," Shelli asked.

C.J. sipped her tea.

"Better I think," she said, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "This is just such a shock."

Shelli shook her head.

"That's why I'm glad I have a steady guy like Hollings," she said, "The only surprises are of the nice kind."

"I don't know why he would do such a thing," C.J. said.

"Maybe you should go and ask him," Shelli suggested, "He looked very concerned about you."

"I just don't know if I can right now," C.J. said, suddenly feeling dizzy.

Shelli looked worried.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine…just a little tired," C.J. said.

Joel walked into the kitchen and when he saw her, headed to where the women sat.

"How are you doing," he asked.

C.J. just shrugged. Shelli looked up at him.

"We're just a couple of chicks hanging out," she said, "but she's getting dizzy and tired."

Joel's eyes flashed concern.

"Do you feel like you're going to faint?"

C.J. didn't feel sure one way or another.

"Yes…no…I think I'm okay."

Joel nodded.

"It's pretty normal in your stage of pregnancy to experience these symptoms," he said, "but I don't want you to pass out and hit your head or something like that."

C.J. gave him a strange look.

"I'm feeling okay," she said, "I'm just a little bit surprised to see him. He's supposed to be dead."

Joel shook his head.

"Is he officially listed as dead or did you just think that he died?"

"He died right in front of me in a car bomb explosion," C.J. explained, "and he was given a funeral and buried in a cemetery."

Shelli and Joel looked at each other. Joel smiled uneasily.

"Well obviously it was some kind of mistake or misunderstanding," he said, "because he's sitting in the Brick having a drink with Hollings and Maurice right now."

Shelli's eyes widened.

"Wow, how cosmic," she said, "Maybe he's a ghost or something coming back to solve his own murder."

C.J. rubbed her head.

"No, that's really him," she said, "I don't even know how he found me here unless his uncle told him."

Joel looked at her.

"I could give you an examination but I really think everything's okay," he said, "Maybe if you got some rest…"

C.J. sighed.

"I have to face him first," she said, "before I do anything else."

Maggie shook her head as she looked at the three men sitting close to her.

"Men," she started, "We're taught that they are simple creatures…"

Maurice interrupted her colloquy.

"That's because we are Maggie," he said, "unlike the fairer sex."

Anger boiled through her.

"If that were true, then your friend here would have less than two names," she said, "I bet he's not really a developer."

Matt shook his head.

"I'm a private investigator," he said, "but I was CEO of my own company and had plenty of experiencing brokering real estate deals."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Why doesn't it surprise me that yet another man is not who he says he is," she said, "but that woman in the kitchen really loved you and you played her like a fool pretending to be dead."

"That's not what happened," Matt explained, "Someone tried to kill me and when another group saved my life, they wanted something from me in return."

"So you faked your own death to be some kind of covert operative or something breaking that woman's heart."

Matt closed his eyes for a second, knowing that Maggie spoke the truth. He wouldn't blame C.J. if she believed that he had abandoned and even rejected her. Telling her the truth should have been what he did but he couldn't change the past now. All he could do was repair the damage his decisions had caused the most important person in his life.

"This is between her and me," he said, "It's not your business."

Maggie's eyes flashed in anger.

"How typical of men," she said, "to try to define the parameters of women's feelings."

Matt looked confused.

"What are you talking about," he said, "I never said that."

"You didn't have to," she said, "It oozes through your pores like some fungus."

Maurice raised his hand.

"Now Maggie, you're not being fair here."

She snorted in response.

"Men," she said, "You all stick together. Are you sure you don't want to chime in Hollings and join the choir?"

Hollings eyes blinked.

"Oh…I don't think it's my place…"

Her arms flew up.

"Of course not," she said, "why should you men hold each other accountable? How easy it is to bury your head in the sand."

Hollings looked even more perplexed.

"That's not what I'm doing," he said, "I think you're taking this situation too close to heart."

That made her angrier.

"At least I have a heart," she said, "You just have two small brains. A northern one and a slightly smaller southern one."

Matt interrupted them.

"Listen, this is all interesting and thanks for the drink but I've got someone I've got to talk to about now," he said getting up and leaving them.

They met in the middle. She had left the kitchen and he had walked towards the end of the bar. He noticed that her face looked pale but it didn't mar her beauty. She stopped several feet in front of him.

"Are you okay," he said.

She just looked at him and he could see she had been crying. That made his heart hurt even more than it did already.

"I'm fine," she said, "I've had to be."

"I'm sorrier than you'll ever know for what I put you through," he said, "If I had to do it again…"

She shook her head.

"You can't undo the past that easily," she said, "I sat so many times and thought if I could have done something to prevent you from getting inside of that car…"

"You couldn't do anything," he said, "We didn't know it was rigged with a bomb."

She wiped her eyes and he had to resist the urge to move closer to her.

"We knew that the case we were working on was dangerous," she said, "After what had just happened…"

He sighed.

"That's in the past now," he said, "I'm back now."

She narrowed her brows.

"For how long," she said, "What if someone else wants a favor from you? Will you just take off again without telling anyone?"

"C.J..."

She shook her head.

"No, I really want to know," she said, "One minute you were there, then you were dead. Then it turns out you weren't dead, but performing a job for someone else. Now I find out that not only weren't you really dead but that you didn't tell anyone. Not me and not your uncle, the people who care about you."

"I couldn't," he said, "That was part of the deal for saving my life."

She bit her lip, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Does Uncle Roy even know you're alive," she said, "what about your cousin Will?"

He nodded.

"I talked to Roy before I came here," he said.

"And he told you where I was, didn't he?"

Matt set his jaw.

"Not at first," he said, "then he finally did after I pushed him."

She shook her head again.

"Why does it matter where I am," she said, "if you were able to disappear from our lives without looking back?"

He rubbed his forehead, knowing he deserved her anger.

"Why did you leave L.A.," he asked.

She looked at him for a long moment.

"I needed a change of scenery," she said lightly, "Alaska has beautiful scenery."

"Uncle Roy told me that the men who tried to kill me came after you," Matt said, "Twice."

She shrugged.

"They didn't succeed obviously," she said, "because I'm right here standing in front of you."

"If I had known…"

"Would it have changed anything?"

He couldn't answer that.

"I didn't think so," she said, "I can't live with that kind of danger hanging over my head. Not anymore. That's why I came here so no one could find me and I could try to build a life for myself."

He sighed.

"It's safe now," he said, "All of Dietmer's men have been rounded up and taken into custody."

"If it's not Dietmer, it will be someone else," she said, "Danger always surrounds us Houston."

He looked at her confused.

"I thought you liked working with me," he said.

"I really did," she said, "but life has a way of throwing you curve balls that make you rethink your priorities. When I thought I lost you, a part of me died and I did a lot of thinking about what I wanted in my life."

"Okay, so you do something else," he said, "As long as we're together…"

"Until you take off again," she said, "Until you have to play dead again. I don't think I could go through that. I don't want to go through that kind of pain anymore."

"You won't have to," he said, "I'm coming home to stay."

She looked at him and she wanted to believe him but a large part of her…she couldn't put that kind of faith in his words. Too much was at stake, much more than the last time they had seen each other.

She shook her head.

"I'm staying here," she said, "until I figure things out like what I'm going to do with the rest of my life."

She started to walk away.

"C.J. we're not done here," he said.

She looked at him sadly.

"For now we are," she said, "Right now I just want to be alone. I've got a lot of thinking to do."

He nodded and then watched her walk away, knowing that he really had his work cut out for him this time.


End file.
